If you have ever gone through childbirth, in any manner, you know that it is wonderful, painful, beautiful, and DISGUSTING! Your body is, both mentally and physically, put through the wringer when you are pregnant and give birth to a baby. There is so much that happens to you. So much that happens to you and your body that NO ONE tells you about.

There are 10 things I want to share with you, to prepare you for childbirth and postpartum care. Some of them are only slightly gross, some are FULL BLOWN disgusting. Let’s jump right in. Trigger warning, hold our gag reflex.

1. Bloody Show and Release of Your Mucus Plug

There is only a slight difference between a bloody show and the release of your mucus plug. Your mucus plug is what blocks your cervix closed so that no bacteria gets to your baby. When you are in your last few weeks of pregnancy, your cervix softens and opens, releasing your mucus plug. It looks like a giant snot glob. You will see it in your underwear or on toilet paper when you wipe your bum, or you may even feel it as it comes out. It doesn’t hurt and it may be frightening to see, but it is completely and utterly NORMAL.

The bloody show is when blood mixes with your mucus plug. It is the last remnants of your plug combined with blood. Again, totally normal. This means that labor is very near, likely within the week. Intercourse after your 37th week, a membrane sweep, or trauma, can cause a bloody show. Call your OBGYN or Midwife if you think you’ve had a bloody show. They may want to check your cervix to see if you have dilated.

What to Expect is a phenomenal site that will help you throughout your entire pregnancy journey.

2. You Will Poop On The Table

You will probably have diarrhea for hours or days before you start pushing. However, you can manage to go to the toilet during that time. You don’t exactly get that luxury in active labor. When your baby starts crowning, especially as the head is actually coming out, you won’t be able to control it. You push with all of your might and it just kind of feels like you have to poop. There is so much pressure down there already, that you don’t even realize you are pooping.

There is no need to really worry about it. Labor smells pretty gross in general so you likely won’t smell it. Your nurses are trained and adept in labor care. They roll the sheets, clean the poo, and have a new pad underneath you before you even realize what’s happened.

Health Partners has written information about this as well as other “uncomfortable” questions about labor.

3. You Will Probably Tear Or Have an Episiotomy

I was one of the lucky ones that didn’t tear. Unless you have a very small-headed baby or you are doing your stretches, you will likely tear. Small tears are normal. Large tears likely won’t happen if you birth in a hospital. If you are on track to tear, or if there are complications getting the baby out, your doctor may perform an episiotomy.

An episiotomy is a small “surgical” procedure in which your doctor gives you a local anesthetic injected into your perineum, then they take a pair of scissors and cut the perineum. Sometimes they cut straight down or occasionally to one side or the other. Episiotomies are less and less common, it is actually better to tear naturally. When an episiotomy is performed, they cut a larger section than you would tear. Only allow your doctor to perform one if it is medically necessary for either you or your child.

You can find the degrees of episiotomy and tears at the Cleaveland Clinic.

4. Your Baby Will Look, Gross

When your sweet little one is born, it is important to have skin-to-skin contact immediately. But, prepare to get icky. When the baby comes out, they are covered in blood, mucus, and vernix. Vernix is a gooey white, waxy protective covering. It will likely be reabsorbed by your baby’s skin within the first day or two, BUT, some of the icky stuff will come off on you when you hold them. It’s pretty gross, but it’s so helpful. The Pampers website has better information if you are interested in learning more about “Vernix”

5. Placenta…

You have pushed for hours. Your vagina has tears, you have been in the worst pain you have ever experienced in your life, you are holding your newborn, and you finally made it to the finish line. But wait, there’s more! Just when you think you are done, you still have to push the placenta out. If you are with a doctor, they may give you a shot and tug on the umbilical cord to speed up the process. You can choose to do this on your own, just make sure your wishes are clear before you go into labor.

The placenta is an organ that you grow very early on in your pregnancy to feed the baby. It attaches to your uterine wall and then to the umbilical cord, which is connected to your baby. It is the only way that your baby can get nutrients from you. After you birth your baby, even with a C-section, the placenta comes out next.

This one is going to feel very, very, weird… Almost like an entire gelatin cake is shooting out of your vagina.

6. Blood

After you have ended your labor, you are going to bleed. This is regardless of cesarean or vaginal birth. The bleeding will start off very very heavy for a few days but it will slow down. You will likely bleed for around 4-6 weeks. It is normal for there to be tissue and clots as your body tries to heal, if you are passing clots bigger than golf balls, call your doctor asap. If you are soaking through a large pad within an hour for 2 hours straight, go to the ER or call your doctor immediately.

You will have the option of super-large pads, or diapers. It sounds weird but go for the diapers. They are bigger, less likely to leak, and they help add a little support to your stomach. They are especially great for women who have undergone a cesarean. I much preferred the diapers to the pads. The Cleveland Clinic will be able to give you great guidelines and things to look out for after childbirth.

The main thing I remember was the smell. I would go to the bathroom, even just to pee, and I could taste the blood. The smell was so strong, I felt like the entire bathroom smelled like metal. There was just so much blood those first few days. Standing in the shower and seeing the water run red down the drain. In the time it takes for you to undress and get in, the blood has already run down your legs and ruined your bath mat. I don’t say this to scare you, just to prepare you for it. It does slow down after a few days.

7. Your Lady Bits

The actual general feeling of your whole body is enough to make you cry, but it’s not that bad. Your labia, perineum, rectum, and uterus will be the worst. Your labia will be pretty tender and if you tore, it will all be much worse. Sitz baths should help with that.

The biggest problem is your uterus. Every time you stand up, you kind of feel like it’s going to fall straight out of you. Your cervix is still dilated, your pelvic floor is reeling from all of the pushing, and there is not much still holding in your uterus. And you can definitely tell. I found comfort in being able to close my legs to “Hold it in”. Trying to go to the bathroom seemed worse having to push out any urine or poo, was worried I might push too hard and my uterus come flying out with it.

8. Your Bum

This one needs a little more attention. The first time you go to poop is going to be… rough. Your doctor or midwife will likely have you taking stool softener for the first few days. You will have to push some even with the stool softener. Give yourself time, don’t try to rush. If it takes you ten minutes, then it takes you ten minutes.

Another issue you will have to worry about is the golf ball of tissue on your rectum. Hemorrhoids usually pop up while you are pushing the baby out. However, you’ll likely have some pop up trying to poop as well. There are different types but you treat them all the same. If you don’t treat them, they could last forever like a scar. When you make or buy your postpartum kit, make sure you include some preparation H and witch hazel. Those will help. Also, sitz baths will help.

Check out my “Postpartum Care Kit” if you are getting close to bringing your little one into the world.

9. The Pee

The first time you pee, you are probably going to need help. Your body kind of forgets how after pushing for so long. Your nurses will be phenomenal at helping. They will give you a peri bottle. The peri bottle is basically just a squirt bottle for your down-under regions. They will fill it with warm water and spray your vagina very lightly to encourage you to pee. This will also help with the stinging you’ll have with your tears, even the super small ones.

You do have incontinence as well. Every time you sneeze, cough, cry, or stand up the wrong way, you will pee a little. It will get better over time but just expect the pee. The diapers and pads will help catch it.

10. Jelly Belly

You just pushed out a 6-9lb baby, pushed out a placenta, and got rid of all of the amniotic fluid and extra blood, but you will still look pregnant. It takes time for your uterus, skin, and muscles to go back to normal. Your nurses will push on your stomach after birth to feel your fundus, and you will just feel so fat. Your stomach will jiggle loosely and often postpartum.

It takes 6-8 weeks to go back down to normal size. Breastfeeding surprisingly helps very quickly. The hormones from breastfeeding help your uterus contract and go back down to its normal size. Also wearing a belly wrap will help. It may feel a little tight at first, but it will retrain your stomach to go back to its prebaby position.

I would like to note that every pregnancy, every labor, and every postpartum experience, is different. Yours will be gross, but maybe not as bad as you expect.

While the journey of childbirth and postpartum care can be filled with moments that might make you cringe, it’s important to remember that these experiences are all part of the incredible process of bringing new life into the world. From the temporary discomfort of jelly belly and hemorrhoids to the challenges of vaginal tears and episiotomies, each hurdle is a testament to the strength and resilience of mothers.

The sights and sensations may not always be pleasant, but they are a reminder of the remarkable miracle that you grew inside your body. As you navigate through the ups and downs of postpartumhood, always remember that you’re not alone. Countless women before you have faced these “icks” and emerged even stronger on the other side. Embrace the messiness, cherish the milestones, and know that every part of this journey contributes to the awe-inspiring story of motherhood.

Don’t forget to view my other posts for more help and tips!